Doesn't feel well? The first step into the journey...

Am I dreaming? Is that the phone ringing? It's still dark out...who calls when it's still dark out? Those were my first thoughts as I was ripped from my sleep to the ringing of the phone. A voice on the other line saying my mom was taken by ambulance from work. It's 2:44am. Trying to sort through jumbled thoughts in a fog of sleep, I make out the words that she doesn't feel well. Doesn't feel well? What does that mean? Creeping through a dark house I quickly get dressed and stumble to my van. No note to my family, cuz I know I'll be home shortly. Doesn't feel well? It's still dark out? Having 4 boys, I'm very familiar with the roads that lead to the hospital...and I think I was in autopilot. Doesn't feel well?? What does that mean? I make a phone call to find out more info. Yes, a paramedic was called. No, my stepdad wasn't called because he is up north at their cabin with his brother. So it's just me. Doesn't feel well?? It seemed like the longest drive ever, in the still of night, complete darkness...little did I know it was day one of a journey that leads to joy, sorrow, praise, heartache, God's promises, and a reunion like no other on this earth.

Arriving at the hospital...it's quiet. They ask me to wait...feels like forever. They prepare me for what I'm about to see... My mom is very sick. Those are the words the doctor uses, over and over again. He's throwing out terms like pulmonary edema, spots on her lungs, CHF, pulse ox of 71, blood pressure numbers, heart rate, etc... My brain is spinning... I know what those numbers and those words mean. I've had some medical training. The facts they find through tests are not good, but those are simply facts. Facts change. Truth doesn't change. And I know the word is truth. So I prayed. Walking into that ER and seeing the battle for life breath my mom was having made my heart sink. The fear in her eyes... How does a daughter comfort her mother. Spinning, spinning, spinning. Doesn't feel well??

I admit, writing this, remembering the beginning of the journey...makes me cry. But I stepped into this journey BELIEVING my mom would be healed... And she was.

This is just the beginning... Walk with me, cry with me, and dance with me as this journey unfolds. It's still not over. I believe we are still in the beginning stage... At the end. Make sense?

It will.

Blessings to you.

The ups and downs...

It has been a while since I've posted anything...and life has been...interesting. Last month my mom went to meet Jesus. She was young...way too young. 60 years old, but now dancing with Jesus! I have a lot to say about it, so my next few blogs may be about this journey. A journey of change and firsts I never thought I would experience at my age, but it's here. And in the midst of it all... I'm constantly reminded that God is good! All the time!

I know my faith is strong. I know my strength comes from the Lord. And I will tell you, without a doubt, that I have sad moments. A friend of mine lost her mother a month and 2 days after I lost mine. Her mom was 61. Both left this earth unexpectedly... And she has been a rock for me. Writing and blogging words that spoke my heart... Words that I could not find, she found for me, and for herself... And shared them with such vulnerability, that I felt I was speaking. Thank you for that my dear friend.

So I pray that you are patient with my blogs. I have a lot to say:)

But most of all...God is good!